New Year, New Shoes

I've always loved New Year's celebrations.  As a child, we went to church.  Even in that sacred place, there was something very secular about being there so late at night. A certain stillness blanketed the sanctuary; a measurable mix of fatigue and reverence compelled us all to be silent.  As I think back on my many days at St. Mark AME Church of Zion, I can easily recall my pastor's Easter sermons.  I remember the Christmas ones too, but nothing comes to mind for the New Year.  Just prayerful silence.

Other times, we brought the New Year in at home.  Our next door neighbors, the Washingtons, always threw a party.  It was a small family gathering, and as neighbors, we were family.  I remember watching Dick Clark count us down.  We watched Dick because it's all Mr. Washington knew.  Well, that and egg nog.  My first time tasting the sweetened snot was at their party and I've been disgusted ever since.  Mr. Washington had his mixed with dark liquor and he sipped it through a novelty straw.  It was red, and had a naked lady molded into the plastic. He used that straw every year as he rung in the New Year.  Still handsome at 60 something, with smooth brown skin and kind blue eyes, I bet Mr. Washington had seen his share of boobs in younger days.  Some may have also been plastic, who's to say?

When I started my own family, I continued the tradition of celebrating with the kids.  I'm not a person who enjoys the nightlife, so I never felt like I was missing anything.  I would have my nieces and nephews over and we'd eat pizza and drink sparkling grape juice. I'd build a fire and we roast marshmallows for s'mores.  The kids would have hot chocolate and I'd have chilled Riesling as we try to stay up till midnight. We were largely unsuccessful in that mission.

A few years ago, I had a boyfriend who did enjoy the party scene.  He made plans for us to celebrate New Year's at a local lounge, and I decided to live a little.  I typically don't enjoy dressing up on weekends, because I have to dress up for work all week.  I don't wanna be a Great Value print model on a Saturday.  But I heard there would be chicken wings so I pulled together an ensemble worthy of all flats with blue cheese.  We got to the venue and it was LOUD.  I was standing next to speakers that were far larger than I, so I strategically placed my boyfriend between them and me.  The energy was positively frenetic, but good frenetic.  Tangible.  Contagious.  By the time we counted down to 12, the room was bubbling with good vibes and it felt amazing.  It's the only time I ever managed to get a New Year's kiss, which made the night extra special.

Here lately, most holidays seem to be observed online.  There are the sales, the endless pics of festivities, the touching tales of holiday magic and also the most negative of Nancies.  The biggest gripe I see is that holidays are man made bastions of commercialism, and maybe they are.  We argue about Jesus' actual birthday and why Father Day kinda sucks but none of us can deny that January 1 starts a new year.  Ok, maybe the Mayans could argue but they're not looking too credible after that 2012 biz.  What we argue about on New Years is making resolutions.  Some folks subscribe to the practice while others shun such efforts.  Personally, I feel better about making sweeping positive changes in the spring so I find resolution makers to be, well, resolved.  It takes chutzpah to embark on the path of bettering yourself in the dead of winter.

As we bring in 2020, let's all resolve to just be whatever it is we aim to be.  You don't have to measure the distance between your starting point and your goal.  Just start. Just do. Just be.  Let's drop the adverbs.  Instead of saying you'll be kinder, just be kind.  No need to pick apart your current level of kindness.  Just start being the person you wish to become if only a little at a time.  Start with one walk around one block.  Help one person with one problem.  Be patient with one elder.  Inspire just one child.  My personal wish is to be more selfish. Say "No" more often.  Treat myself.  Eat the cake.  Buy the dress.  New year, new shoes!

Happy New Year Everybody!